Why I should be FEMA director

It seems like anyone can get a job in Homeland Security these days so I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring as a replacement for FEMA head Michael Brown.

Let’s compare my background with Brown’s:

Michael Brown ME
Current Job Undersecretary for Emergency Preparedness and Response IT Director
Previous employment
  • General Counsel, FEMA
  • Commissioner of judges and stewards for the International Arabian Horse Association
  • Lawyer, Enid, OK
  • City employee, Edmond, OK
  • News photographer
  • Reporter
  • Photographic equipment sales
Ever fired or forced to leave a job? Yes Not yet
Education BA, JD BA, photojournalism
Political experience Unsuccessful bid for U.S. House of Representatives, Oklahoma Unsuccessful bid for ASB Vice-President, Hudson’s Bay H.S.
Political fundraising Raised millions for Bush/Cheney 2000 Had a Howard Dean campaign sign in front yard
Political contributions Bush/Cheney (aka Voldemort for President)
Famous Republicans known George W. Bush Once interviewed Sen. Gordon Smith (R-OR) for small-town newspaper
Famous college buddy(ies) Joe Allbaugh, campaign manager Bush/Cheney 2000 Pat
Head up ass? Yes No

Sources: Boston Herald, Knight-Ridder.

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